Baby & Mom Products I didn't Know Would Save Me During Postpartum Life
Postpartum life is
tough.
There's really no
getting around it, especially for a first time mom (actually for all first time parents, but I'm writing as a mom, so that's the perspective I'll share here). For mom's who have just given birth, there's usually physical
recovery stuff happening, plus adjusting to a new relationship with your partner or whomever
is helping you get through this period, plus the main event: literally caring for your
newborn who's just a little lump and dependent on you for everything.
It's a lot. And it's all new and after giving birth, hormones are raging
and it can get overwhelming. And, in this age of information, where you can
google EVERYTHING, its also hard to weed through all the intel that's out there and determine the best way to prepare.
When I was pregnant and
preparing for life with baby, I remember swinging through a variety of moods
ranging from "I can't read another mommy blog because it's all so overwhelming" to "as long as I don't die in labor and delivery I'll
be fine" to "oh my gosh I need all the things". And I remember
coming across a lot of blogs that talked about the items/materials/products that
were most helpful for life with baby--
and I really wanted to buy the right stuff and feel prepared!
Despite my desire to be prepared for postpartum life (and hours of searching the internet for the information that would help me do so), I didn't end up buying much in order to prepare (though I was gifted a lot of the basic necessities). I didn't go out of my way to buy a lot of additional products due to the fact that I didn't have a lot of extra money, I have a pretty small house (around 1,100 square feet) and couldn't logistically fit a lot of new items in there, and I really didn't want to purchase a bunch of products I feared I wouldn't even use.
While I realize there really wasn't a way to get around these blocks and I've also come to terms with the fact that there's no way to know what you will need until you're in it, I now have some wisdom to impart about what products actually were very helpful and that I'd recommend to other new parents. Luckily, in addition to the basic stuff we received from family at our baby shower, a few hand-me-down items were gifted to me, that I initially thought I'd just donate, but they ended up being awesome. Also, a few conversations with mom friends in the beginning led me to some products that really helped!
**Note: I'm in no way saying that products/materials are the most important part of parenthood and I'm all for avoiding thoughtless consumerism when entering this phase of life-- that said, in particular for a new mom who's just given birth and intends to breastfeed, there are a few things that really helped boost my mental health by making my life easier. (And I'm an advocate for all things that support positive maternal mental health).
As such, I've compiled
my own list of a few of the products that I appreciate for taking the edge off
in that fourth trimester.
In any case, I hope it helps and here we go-
Products that really
saved me during the immediate postpartum period (a.k.a. the fourth trimester,
or first three months after baby was born):
1.
A swing or some other
contraption you can strap baby into and walk away from, particularly if it's
appropriate for daytime sleeping
o This is useful for nap times when you need to
get something done around the house, like make yourself some food or take a
shower or fold laundry or just sit back on the couch by yourself without having another person physically latched onto you.
o A key component of this device is that it should strap the baby
in for safety, both with shoulder and lap straps, so they won't roll over or
fall out. (Re: five point harness).
o For a newborn, you'll want one that will recline
back so that baby won't slump over too much before they can hold their head
up and you may need a an infant head support for the initial days. (I bought the Goldbug Monkey Adjustable Car Seat Head Support so that the straps could still slip through).
o I think it helps if it's one that swings, vibrates
or otherwise moves so the baby will stay somewhat entertained/comfortable while
you step away for a minute. My baby often falls asleep in it too, which is
convenient, though frequently she'll also stay awake and just look around the
house happily too.
o I thought a bouncer would work for this purpose,
but my baby doesn't stay content nearly as long or as frequently as in the
swing. Other contraptions that stay still, such as a car seat or bassinet or Pack N Play also don't work as well for this purpose, because my baby would get fussy
when I put her down in the early days. The motion of the swing seemed to make a difference.
o As far as brand/make/model go, we received a
hand-me-down Graco Glider Swing from a friend, and man, it was/is a lifesaver! Originally I thought it was just
taking up valuable space in our small house and thought we'd donate it, but
pretty immediately, once my husband went back to work and I was still healing
from delivery and getting used to being a mom at home by myself during
maternity leave, I dragged it in from the garage, plugged it in and strapped
the baby in-- and she was happy! And she'd fall asleep in it! What a life saver. Also, my mom found a used one on Let Go and her's runs on batteries and is super light-- it's great for moving from room to room as needed.
o I used it for our morning routine
(up to about 12 weeks), where I put baby in it after waking/nursing/bit
of play first thing in the morning, once she started to tire out. She would swing happily for an hour or two (typically she fell asleep within half an hour of
being placed in it), while I got to make breakfast, clean up the house a bit,
do some writing, or take a shower, depending on the day.
o This product was recommended to me by a friend
who'd had a baby two weeks prior to mine and originally talked about it as a
remedy for clogged milk ducts.
o It was super affordable (I think it cost about
$15?) and provides a number of benefits, including: clear a clogged duct (fill it with a mix of water and epsom salts and attach it to the breast and the suction may draw out the clog), catch the milk from the let-down
(and prevent losing precious milk and/or soaking your
shirt/blanket/towel/bed/baby), and increase milk production
(tricks your body into thinking you have twins and need twice the supply).
o Also, it's so simple- it's one piece, small,
doesn't require electricity or batteries, doesn't have parts that need to
cleaned-- really it's just so efficient! Super brilliant design.
o In retrospect, I'd definitely recommend buying
one that has a stopper (lid) so that if you are stuck feeding somewhere with a
baby on you and need to put it down easily nearby, you won't spill the milk
(I've done it, it sucks especially if it's in your bed in the middle of the night
and then you're soaked, your baby is soaked, you have to change everyone's outfit...
etc).
**Note: I used this product at nearly every feeding for the first two months, then tapered off as my milk supply regulated and I got more used to breastfeeding and pumping (re: my baby and my body synced up better to produce and feed the right amount, which was just a natural progression wherein I became less afraid of clogged ducts and of not having enough supply).
o While many folks can use any pacifier
or bottle nipple for their baby with no problems, my baby and I definitely
struggled for about the first 6 weeks to master a good latch during breast
feeding.
o This means that I was hesitant to introduce
pacifiers or bottles too early, especially because my expert support team
(midwife, doctor, lactation consultant) all said that introducing additional
nipples can definitely cause nipple confusion (re: a baby doesn't have to suck
as hard on the bottle nipple and therefore can make shallow latch issues
worse)-- also, adding in different nipples can simply add more confusion to an already
challenging situation.
o Therefore I followed the advice I got and waited
until week 8 to introduce additional nipples and when I did, I opted for the
Soothie style pacifier because my lactation consultant said many babies can
switch back and forth between breast and this pacifier easily without
trouble.
o Introducing the pacifier was a game changer
because my baby was tending to spend a lot of time just comfort suckling (i.e.
after truly feeding, she was just suckling on the boob without swallowing
milk). Replacing this time with the pacifier was a relief to me, as I was ready
for a bit more freedom from the latched baby on my breast.
o The pacifier also got her to fall asleep after
nursing more easily. While some babies fall asleep after nursing
easily/routinely, my baby went through a period where she did not (particularly from about week 4 through week 15). Around about week 5, she would usually be sleepy
after nursing, but still needed a bit more soothing to actually nod off to
sleep. The Soothie Pacifier seemed to do the trick. She'd nurse for about 10
minutes, then I'd notice she was no longer swallowing milk but still suckling
and I'd remove the boob and replace it with the Soothie pacifier. At this
point, she'd usually knock right now and I could adjust her position to
something most comfortable for me. The pacifier also worked well when she would wake
suddenly (re: the Moro Reflex)
but was still sleepy- she'd startle herself awake from a seemingly deep sleep, and we'd just plug in the pacifier pretty immediately and she'd nod off
again.
o But I believe the key to our success was: not introducing a pacifier too early and
choosing a design that mimicked a real nipple.
o I had another friend that recommended this
bottle.
o It's supposed to mimic the breast by having a
soft silicone design and having a slow flow nipple that forces the baby to
really suck for milk- thus hopefully minimizing nipple confusion.
o One of the risks of introducing a bottle can be
that typically milk will flow more easily from the bottle than from the breast, so the baby
doesn't have to work as hard to feed. This means that sometimes the baby may then start refusing the breast because it's easier to get food from the bottle. For
moms wanting to continue breastfeeding, this can decrease milk supply
and/or require more pumping. In my experience, the most efficient way to keep milk
supply up was to feed the baby directly from my boob as much as possible
(though pumping works well too if needed).
o Therefore, the Como Tomo design worked well for
us-- it has a soft silicone, rounded design, so it literally feels like a
boob when they touch it, it has anti-colic vents so the baby in theory won't take in too much air
while feeding that would cause gas, and as mentioned, the nipple is slow flow so the baby continues
practicing their good latch and good suck. Once introduced, bottle feeding was
such a relief so that dad/others to help out with feeds so I could go to the gym or run out for groceries without worrying about leaving a fussy, hungry baby. Also, surprisingly, the bottle worked well for me to occasionally use it to feed baby as needed, such as when I would pump and then unexpectedly realize the baby wanted milk but my boobs were all
out.
**Note that the bottles come in two sizes: 5 oz
size with a slow flow nipple intended for 0- 3 month old babies, and then an 8
oz bottle with medium flow nipple for 3- 6 month old babies. We ordered two of
each, and the first time using them, I wasn't paying attention and just grabbed
the 8 oz size with the medium flow nipple. Baby was only 2 months old and then
was gulping and taking in a lot of air and trying to keep up with the fast flow and we didn't
know why she was having such a hard time-- until I realized I grabbed the wrong one! We switched to the 5 oz
size and slow flow and then things were much more manageable for baby.
**Also Note that
if you have a fast let-down, baby will show the same symptoms as with a medium flow
nipple-- re: it's kind of like a fire hose in their mouth-- but eventually baby
learns to keep up with either/both. It took my baby between 4-8 weeks to really get good at nursing from the breast regardless of the strength/weakness of my let-down.
5.
Breast milk bags or
containers or some method for collecting and storing breast milk
o I didn't originally buy these before my baby was
born because I figured that since I wasn't going back to work right away, I
would have no need to pump and therefore no need to store milk in any sort of immediate sense.
o However, I unfortunately got a clogged duct in week 3 from
not emptying my breast consistently (baby wasn't fully emptying them on her own
via exclusive nursing, which an issue I didn't know was possible until it
happened to me).
o What this taught me was that if I could feel my
breasts were full, I needed to empty them-- by whatever means necessary. This
meant I had to start pumping pretty much within two weeks of giving birth, because
my baby wasn't removing all the extra milk. She'd feed frequently and was
gaining weight and seemed satiated and all that but I was just producing more
than she needed. As such, I needed to remove the extra milk, and thus needed
someplace to store the extra supply.
o As a person committed to zero waste, I really
wanted to find an option that wasn't made of plastic and wasn't disposable. But
since I needed to freeze all the extra milk in my normal sized kitchen refrigerator/freezer, glass mason jars weren't a good
option because they'd take up too much space and also would risk cracked glass. Also reusable tupperware wouldn't work because I'd have to buy so much
of it, and again, it wouldn't be efficient on space saving in the freezer.
o I did eventually read of a cool zero waste
option on the Instagram account called Legendairy Milk (check them out if you
haven't! they're awesome! so many good tips!!)--- the solution is to pour your
milk into ice cube trays then pop them out after frozen into other dishes and
they'll hold their shape. This also helps you defrost smaller amounts, in just
the volume you need, thus eliminating the problem of heating more milk than
baby eats.
o However, I couldn't find a good zero waste
option for most of the newborn period, so eventually I just opted for the
Lansinoh plastic freezer bags, which can store flat until they freeze, then be
stacked in any number of configurations. They are intended to be disposable,
which I'm not a huge fan of, but they are BPA free, are the ideal size for
storing breast milk, and are made to be written on with date/time/name etc.
Disposable bags made for breast milk turned out to be the best option for milk
storage I could find at the time and actually I'm really pleased with method-
it's efficient, clean, easy for both me and husband to execute, and doesn't
require any follow up.
o I had read and been told that I should freeze milk in 2-4
ounce volumes, again because that way I wouldn't be heating and wasting milk
that baby can't/won't eat in one sitting-- but I was frequently pumping way
more than that and again wanted to minimize plastic waste. One solution to this
(that again, I found on Legendairy Milk) was to cut the bag of frozen milk with a knife into
the size volume you think you'll need. This
allows you keep the portion you won't need frozen until you're ready for it.
o Last tip: I recommend planning a milk storage
method and buying the necessary supplies before you give birth. In my case, I didn't do this, and as such, in the first few weeks, I kept
asking folks to run out and get bags for me after we were all at home (my
husband, my mom, my mother-in-law...) and no one was able to execute this task
for me. They didn't seem to sense the urgency/need and also didn't know what I
was talking about (all seemed to think I was just asking for sandwich bags--
which I wasn't). This meant I started out using my Avent milk bottles for storage (which had been gifted to me before I discovered the Como Tomo brand). Storing milk in bottles was highly inefficient and when I ran out, I just didn't
pump because I had no where to store the milk, which then contributed to the
clogged milk duct situation. I recommend avoiding this situation by
planning ahead if possible.
o For reference, Target carries a few different
breast milk storage bags, or you can order them online. Although I bought the Lansinoh Brand, first in 50 unit quantity, then 100 unit quantity after I knew
they worked for me, there are plenty of options and I don't know that there's a huge difference.
6.
Manual breast pump
o While my insurance provided me a hospital grade
electric pump, I also ended up buying a small manual hand pump.
o This was useful for the following situations:
traveling (it's smaller), days when I'm in a rush (I can squeeze the
pumping handle faster than the electric pump works), or days when I can't
physically sit down at the electric pump for a long stretch (such as when the
baby is awake and fussy and may need to be picked up at any time).
o I read a lot of reviews on manual hand pumps and
had a really hard time picking one, but eventually went with the Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump with Simuation and
Expression Modes because the reviews were generally good and I figured I could directly pump into my Lansinoh storage
bags if needed.
o It works pretty well, especially at first, but
sometimes seems to build up pressure or something because I don't get a full
squeeze and have to remove it from the breast and reattach to get the suction right. It's
pretty easy but has several parts, so it's a bit intensive to clean. I think its a good fit for occasional use, but wouldn't be ideal if I was using it several times a day, every day.
o In any case, I'd recommend getting something
like this ahead of time so that you're ready when the need arises. I have one friend who recommends the Mandela brand-- if you're not using this as your exclusive pumping method, either would probably work for occasional use.
o This one is kind of an optional one to consider,
because I found it to be helpful but not absolutely necessary in the way some
of the previously mentioned products were.
o The product is a sort of an oval pillow that
surrounds the baby and keeps them "snuggled". This has two major
benefits: 1) has potential to keep the baby calmer when putting them in their own sleep space because they are surrounded/cuddled/hammocked by the device, and 2) provides an edge that protects the baby
from rolling/fallilng off an elevated surface.
o While I had hoped this product would allow me to
put baby down at any time and baby would be satisfied at any time, this isn't
really the case; sometimes a fussy baby stayed fussy regardless of where I
tried to put her down. However, this product was simply useful to put the
baby down on the couch or the table or the bed when she had fallen asleep in my
arms. My mom had gifted me the Snuggle me, and we found that baby was more likely to stay asleep in that than if I put her down alone in the
crib. Also the Snuggle Me design is unique in that it literally hammocks the baby too, which seems comfort to them.
**Note that I believe these products are recommended only for scenarios where the infant is being directly supervised by the caretaker-- not
recommended for unobserved sleep in case the infant rolls over and gets caught
in a position where they might suffocate.
To conclude, here just a few additional items
that I realized after giving birth that I needed more of (and the particular brand really doesn't matter):
- loose cotton pants (These ones by Beachcoco were my favorite! So soft, didn't dig in around the waist or hips, really just perfect.)
- breastfeeding bras and tops that unbutton at the top or
open easily at the breast
- soft hoodies with zippers or tops that layer easily and
open or pull down
- highest dosage over-the-counter pain pills as possible (helpful if/when you experience pain with breastfeeding plus any injury sustained during delivery)
- (for baby, especially if born in winter)- footie onesies that are soft, in a variety of materials
(get both light weight fabrics, and warmer fabrics)
- These are great because it's just one piece of clothing that covers feet, has long sleeves, usually has a piece that will cover hands so baby won't scratch their face, and unbuttons or zips for easy access to diapers. This design is especially helpful for night times when you are tired and have to change a diaper or remove clothes due to a spit up event, drenching the baby in milk accidentally, or a pee/poop blowout. Also, since night times are generally a bit colder, this type of outfit works great to keep baby the right temperature.
Anyway, hopefully this insight is helpful for someone out there! Parenthood is a roller coaster, but sooo rewarding!
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